North Sterlington is your typical Northern town; it has terraced housing, factories, a funfair... and a castle. Marko lives there and he's got a secret - his football is magic. Before he can elaborate on this revelation, his mum warns him to come home after his kickabout, since there's black pudding and lard barm cakes for tea. Marko goes on to show us that his football is magic, returning to his foot wherever he kicks it! He remembers how it got its powers, when Marko accidentally kicked his ball in a barrel of The Colonel's sludge. Rushing to save it before getting ruined, he found himself tripping over the ball which had inexplicable returned to his foot. Back in the present, a police officer on a bicycle stops Marko for playing football in an area with a "No Ball Games" sign. Marko ple