Failsworth, or Faliswort as it was know a million years ago, sits between the comely towns of Oldham (Old Ham called so becauase of its distict smell of rotting bacon) and Madchester (also known as Manchester to the southerners). It is Widely debated whether Failsworth is but then Decided on the Outcome "Its in Both and neither and I don't give a shit anymore." Anyone who disagree's with this is Invited to Blow there brains out with a revolver and not tell me . No one south of Newton Heath knows of itss existence. Many Failsworth people carry spare cigarettes which are not intended to be smoked, but given to 12 year old boys.