#5 Defense Secretary Robert Gates * proposed defense budget * chopping budget 513-B to 534-B * F-22 ($150m) has 4 cup holders * 13,000 jobs will be lost #4 Centegenarian pushers * old peole drug pushers * old people complain about their joints * watch old Eddie Cantor movies (yo gabba, gabba of its day) * mannequin discovered handcuffed to the door of a Bank of America * no one was hurt; no one works at Bank of America #3 Mannequin Uprising * crashing our cars * Dr. Colbert hired a new security guard: Manny #2 Dog seders