Oakham, not to be confused with anything interesting, is peevish capital of world twice runner up. This quaint bastion of naff is nestled snugly between the this huge badass oak tree (you should see it dude) and some assorted undulations of hills. Although the origin of the 'Oak' in Oakham is apparent the true source of 'Ham' remains a mystery, even to this day. Residents, most of them being strong advocates of the pensioners against freakyness society, now look upon all pork produce with deep suspicion. All this suspicion has made Oakham the world's leading producer of prodding sticks.