Georg Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel, known to his friends and admirers simply as George, was a philosopher and smart-ass, and also a German. He invented the Hegel. His philosophy has divided people since its inception: on one side there are his admirers, including Karl Marx (also his on-and-off lover), Rene Descartes, Black Jesus, and the Republican Party, and on the other side are people who hate his guts, such as Søren Kierkegaard, Plato, Oscar Wilde, and the Democratic Party. No one really knows what his thoughts were (if he had any thoughts), but millions are willing to attack or defend them at any cost. He was also the skipper of the German Philosophers Football team, and went by the alias of "Knobby" Hegel. Too bad they, the Germans, couldn't get anything going insofar as they were always