Interesting story. It has a nice flow to it and I'm seeing character development even if it isn't quite complete. Way to recycle names with Qura! :) And some things were lost in transitions, like why Altair was suddenly confident when at the beginning he was subject to his father's verbal abuse. Sarcastic humor is always good, but aside from that, good storyline and development. Just needs some smoothing out, though.... F.<話して~!!> 16:18, 5 April 2008 (UTC) Greetings Fythring, Cheers, Image:YZHSig.png 18:04, 5 April 2008 (UTC)
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| http://dbkwik.webdatacommons.org | 9 |