(Opening theme): They say I might as well face the truth. That I'm just too long in the tooth. Oh I'm an O.A.P. and weak-kneed But I have not yet quite gone to seed. I may be over the hill now that I have retired. Fading away but I'm not yet expired. Clapped out, rundown, too old to save One wheel in the heap. (Closing theme): They say I might as well face the truth. That I'm just too long in the tooth. I've started to deteriorate And now I've passed my own sell-by date. Oh I am no spring chicken it's true. I have to pop my teeth in to chew. And my old knees have started to knock. One wheel in the heap.