Sorry, sorry, didn't mean to startle you there. We haven't been getting a whole ton of customers lately and-- Hey, where are my manners? Howdy, my name is John Raffelbondik, but you can just call me Uncle John. Not one of those creepy incestual uncles either, the nice kind that gets you presents. Ya know, unless you're into that type of thing. You can have whatever you want here. Now, welcome to Uncle John's Fetus Burger's and Abortion Clinic™! Hmm, you look pretty fat if you don't mind my saying so. In fact, you're probably the chubbiest customer we've had here. I suppose that means one of two things. Either you're a hungry son-of-a-bitch, or you have got a fat bastard growing inside-a-you. Either way, this place is perfect for you! Why don't you just take a step inside?