The earliest inhabitants of Suffolk were dangerous sexual perverts, the Iceni, with their knee-fetishes (I-See-Knee) and the Trinnovanties (From the Celtic for Frilly-Panties). These tribes spent many centuries in peace until the Romans arrived, absorbing the Trinnovanties in to their empire, and raping and pillaging the Iceni. The Iceni fought back, but their down fall came at the battle of St. Albans, where legion after legion of fine Roman knee was deployed to distract the perverts as they were rolled up in carpet and thrown of various bridges.