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British humour (American insubordinates: note the spelling) is the greatest of all forms of entertainment. No foreign person ever invented has truly understood this, especially not inhabitants of the good nation of America. This handy, helpful guide will let you, Johnny Foreigner, get to grips with this important part of British culture. Before we start, two extremely important ground rules should be brought to the attention of the non-British. Collectively, the way we disguise these two loathings is called our humour.

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