I must apologise for my lateness senators, but I’m afraid I had to strangle a beggar I met on the way here, and as my dog refused to eat him afterwards, I had to strangle him as well. Before I knew it I’d wasted half an hour! Anyway, to business! My first priorities as emperor will be to cut taxes, to crack down on littering, and to kill everyone who does not conform exactly to this set of arbitrary skull measurements! Skulls are wonderful aren’t they? They make great pets, and they never argue, but that’s mainly due to the fact that you can only make them talk using ventriloquism.