I was walking home with some sausages hanging out of the back pocket of my jeans when all of a sudden this dog started chasing me for no apparent reason and he chased me all the way along the road and I tried to get away by jumping over a fence (ripping my trousers in the process) but he just jumped over it after me and then just as I was about to give up and start fighting the brute in a gladiatorial test of strength the dog gave up on me and started chasing after this other guy instead (he must have had some kittens on him or something the sick bastard) so just as I was dusting myself down and about to walk home to write an article on deadlines this girl came up and asked me if I knew anything about jodhpurs and I was all like, "Why should I know anything about jodhpurs?" and she was all