1.1 Sand, sand, sand. There is so much and and not a lot else. Why did I come here? What the hell made me agree to this mallarky? I should be back in Cairo shooting up opium with a young man named "Bottom". Unfortunately I'm here surrounded by sand. Sand, sand, sand - God I'm bored of sand. Or should I say Allah? Yeah, I'll say Allah as it'll make me seem a tad romantic and a tad mysterious to all the birds back home. And I'll change my name by deedpole - no longer will I be T.E. Lawrence - I will be Lawrence of Arabia! conversation went like this: 'Where you from then?' 'Berkshire'