Nouman Safir hatched on the 3rd of Olivary, 293 BC and during his early life was raised by a cinnamon bun. During the Famine of 277 BC Safir ate the bun, as well as his siblings; Tottenham Cake, Banoffee Pie, and Geoffrey Lewis. Safir led an Underground lifestyle for most of the First and Second milleniums AD, which consisted of him running around darkened rooms pretending to be a train, complete with service announcements, drivers strikes, and membership of the RMT Union.