Stelephant Colbert is the northern elephant seal son of Dr. Stephen T. Colbert, D.F.A.. He was first discovered by University of California, Santa Cruz graduate student Nicole Teutschel as he sunbathed on the beach at Año Nuevo State Natural Reserve and she was going about her own business. It can safely be assumed that his giant balls were the first things Teutschel saw from her observation bunker, although she has yet to confirm this.