November I hurt deep in my chest as a reminder when I tried to sleep which I couldn't do more than an hour or so at a time. It was warm, like fifty-five degrees, raining, and Mom would come to the door but I kept it locked and when she knocked I wouldn't answer. Eventually, she would leave, and I would be alone with my thoughts; a crazy jumble of scenes that were true but distorted into things that weren't true and in my head I could hear the voices so clear it was like I was hearing them for the first time. Over and over they played, with my teeth gritted past pain and my eyes hours out of tears, but my breathing still hitched in my lungs and I gripped the covers until I forgot what they felt like.