These Folgers-brand Folgers Crystals are mined daily, deep in the heart of God's country. As far's the eye can see, fields of beautiful crystals shinin' bright under that big lamp in the sky... shucks, it'd bring a tear to the eye of any real man. Hundreds of proud farmers work day and night to ensure that only the finest, ripest crystals make it from the bush to your coffeepot. Accordin' to our figures, the Folgers company imports over 9,000 lbs. of crystals every day, makin' us the market leader in Folgers Crystal imports. And, tho' I don't know a lick about them fancy com-puters, or that purty intranet them boys've been tellin' me about, I do know that Folgers is at the forefront of crystal minin' technology. Heck, work-related deaths are at an all-time low here at Folgers, and that mea