In the times of lore, there was a child. That child was NOT named Jesus, but he did share an uncanny resemblance to the messiah of Christians. This child was named Reggie. Also known as Reggiesus, this wonder child is a failure at life, and unlike Original Jesus, he loves the Death Metal and everything good like that. This amazing Jesus clone has it all: the head hair, the facial hair, the face shape, and most importantly, the sandals. How can you NOT be Reggiesus if your name is Reggie and you are wearing the sandals. I mean come on...
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