The first history of Malaysial began when a Palembang Prince, Parameswara a.k.a "Prince Esh" from Palembang (because he was Palembang Prince) got involved in a bar fight and insulted the king's momma. The king threatened to beat the shit and intestines out of Prince Esh so he fled with 3 wives, 4 mistresses, 2 lackeys, 80 mothers, 20 fathers, 10 grandfathers and 25 US Marines, 300 slaves, and a partridge in a pear tree to Singapore after visiting his close associate Mr. Mister and finding that it was too boring. Anyways, he founded the city state of Celaka which prospered for hundreds and thousands of years, much to the disbelief of Singaporeans, who at that time consisted entirely of higher life forms, and a small minority or animals called the Malays. Then came the Portuguese, Dutch, Bri