The hairless panda was first invented in 1807 by the Russian scientist Votkin Harklowe. It was designed to be a soviet weapon, which was to be used to take out China in the upcoming War of 1812. Fortunately, the hairless panda developed free thought, and thus artificial intelligence was created. Harklowe could not celebrate this accomplishment however, due to being instantly killed by the hairless panda. The pandas then proceeded to take control of Russia's neighboring countries, including Iran and the Czech Republic. They were subsequently frozen with Walt Disney and briefly taken out of commission.