Goldfish crackers are edible crackers designed for little children to bite the heads off of, urinate on, and stomp on vigorously in the middle of the road. The ultimate reason they were created was to stimulate the violence of people and generate their hatred towards the innocent fish, for further encounters with other people and knowledge how to bit heads off. They were first manufactured by Campbell Soup Company, under the Pepperidge Farm brand. Pepperidge Farm is currently a company designed for making food for obese people (Americans) to consume, but they used to work under a branch of the government for a top-secret assignment related to suspicion of a future invasion of a genetically enhanced army of masturbating penguins. This Pepperridge Farm company designed small fish crackers de