Metz's law is an empirical theorem describing how 'pecieved statistical happiness', H is related to beer, proposed by the Chemist Metz in 2006. What Mr Metz proposed, was that one can be observed to be in a higher state of 'hapiness' when in possession of a healthily sized brewskie. Therefore Mr Metz inferred that the size of one's smile is indeed proportional to the volume of one's beer. In 2007, Metz received the Alfred Hitchcock Prize for Scientification for this theorem.