Abstract Expressionism is the best kind of art ever created, if you hate art. The Abstract Expressionist art movement was started by this one violent drunk many moons ago when he accidentally defecated all over his bed sheets one night, then squirted catsup and mustard all over the faeces because he thought he was being funny, and then hung the soiled fabric on a clothesline. In a matter of days, that disgusting bed sheet was displayed in a local art museum and pretentious art fags couldn't stay away. One such prick was art critic Robert Coates, who first coined the phrase Abstract Expressionism to describe that garbage.