I awoke every morning with an impending sense of doom. I knew I was living a lie and desperately wanted it to end. You see, I am an alcoholic and drug addict. On the outside my life was perfect...an adoring husband, incredible daughter and a brand new Grandson. On the inside it was a constant struggle. A day by day, week by week, month by month, never ending struggle. I wanted to be sober and healthy, to experience every thing with lucid joy...not a chemically enhanced version of it. I tried and tried and failed and failed to stop drinking and taking pills...A few days was easy, it just never stuck. I would lose my willpower within days...I prayed, I begged and I pleaded with the universe to no avail.