The Ultimate Judge Mills Lane was born in a toaster oven in 1982. This is where they baked him a heart out of cookie dough. After his mother lost his pram at the supermarket he was raised by elves and fairies. This was a wonderful time for young Ultimate Judge Mills. He fought pirates and Native Americans and hooted and hollered at the crick with Tom, Huck, and Nigger Jim. When he turned 18, Ultimate Judge Mills joined the Marines in the hope of killing his nation's great enemy, Freddy Krueger. This hardly happened at all.