I was a very lonely person. I had no friends, except for my toothbrush. But my toothbrush ran away from home when I was 12, leaving me alone. My parents saw how lonely I was, so they decided to buy me a pet. On Christmas morning, or rather the morning after Christmas, Because we always celebrated holidays the day after they happened, they gave me a cage, with a pet inside. It was a ball of my dad's mucus. I named it Phlegmbiscuit. It was a wonderful pet. I fed it ledduce every day. I fed it scraps from the dinner table when my parents were busy fornicating on top of it.