A Teagage in Every Port is an account of the many (often fictional) stories of the eponymous halfling family, including amongst other things, the Great Biscuit Crisis, tales of their monkey smuggling exploits, wars against the badgers and other such nonsense such as exploding pies, tree invasions, and the world exploding briefly. Nearly a quarter of the book is a list of the many living and dead members of the family with corresponding family tree. Written by Dappin Teagage.