The Quaid Disaster Theorem is a relation between disaster movies and Quaids. The theorem is expressed as follows: In any disaster movie, the number of Quaids must be equal to or greater than one We denote the number of Quaids in a movie M as We let p denote the Quaid density function on a movie space. The number of Quaids in a movie M is then But we can convert the p into a corresponding opening and closing credits function P. We thus convert the above integral to the line integral