Darwen, also known as "Blackburn's Bitch" was founded in 10 million BC by a caveman, he and his wives left no other evidence of their habitation than a Styrofoam cup marked with the initials 'NF'. More recently, in 1832 the Government decided to section off an area of Northern England for industrial activities such as prostitution, and chose Darwen, because only Mongs, Chavs and drugged cats called 'Wilma' lived there, and nobody cared.