Cancer™ is a highly popular and regularly consumed beverage throughout the western world, with the famous catchphrase - "At least it's not Pepsi!" The name of the product was decided after it was first trialed in a number of small towns, and, due to most of the participants living unhealthily, caused them to develop heart failure, however, the Cancer-Cola® company deemed that such a name was not catchy enough, and thus opted for Cancer. __TOC__