Memory fading? Husband dead? Kids ungrateful layabouts? What you need, madam, are commemorative plates. Or as we at the Uncyclopedia Mint like to call them, 'Porcelain Happiness Treasures'. A commemorative plate is a friend that will last a lifetime, madam. A friend that will always be there for you. Unlike your snot-nosed grandchildren. They don't respect you, madam. All they see in you is a cash machine to buy the latest Playstation 360 or Grand Theft Bismark. They don't understand the important things in life, madam. Things like happiness, nostalgia and commemorative plates.