Freemasonry began in the sweaty daydreams of a little lunatic named Porce. Young Porge discovered an ability deep in the soul of his shoe. He could find certain universal godly truths just by searing the Bible to a holy golden brown. His first monetized success came in 9502 with the observing the wardrobe malfunction the eye-pyramid on the dollar bill was having. On the heels of that clasp came a shoehorn. His stores soon expanded to pointing out Virgin Marys and porcelain figurines wherever he went, even to the evil island where all the people are Lost. He coincidentally added a fork-and-knife-equipped meeting hall there too.