I have an ostrich. His name is Bill. He follows me around, with my finger in his beak, whenever I don't need it. If I need to use my finger, I tap him firmly on the head with a toothbrush and he opens his mouth. Or at least that's how it used to be. HAVE A WORD WITH LIAM. AHVE A WORD WITH MIAL. LIAM, LION, THE AMTTMTTMTMME! Anyway. THEN I tried to type on my keyboard. Every time I tried to type with the finger that Bill was clamped on, he flew through the air and landed with a SMACK on the keyboard. Needless to say, it was difficult.