Originally published in The Speaker 1892 This sketch tells of the dilemma in which a substitute at a funeral finds himself, and the difficulty he experienced in getting away from the house of mourning owing to his sublime ignorance of horseflesh.. Thus occupied, we were passing the wall of a farm-house on the edge of the downs, when an ugly sheep-dog — a grizzled, tailless brute — came leaping over it and flew at our legs. Instead, he chuckled drily after a moment and began: " That's a better weapon than a gun." " Ridicule ? " He nodded. ''You used it uncommonly well,” said I.