Eliot Spitzer (legal name: Client #9) was the former Governor for the state of New York but now is simply Colbert's bitch. He is well known for his good ol' family values, and for being an unrepentant whore monger. Thawed out of ice a mere decade ago, the neanderthal has learned to live a normally corrupt political life, mostly off of kickbacks from the music industry, despite the physically obvious evidence of his disability as a primitive humanoid.