England (Ingland to the native Inglish) was founded by boatloads of illegal immigrants from Germany in 455. Before then the country was known as Poundland and was inhabited by people who were called Denarii and had once been club members of the Roman Empire. In an argument about membership fees, the Denarii (or Britons as then now called themselves) voted to leave the Roman Empire and set up themselves a Free Trading Nation - well as long as you liked sheep and sausages. Since the Britons had forgotten how to defend their nation from the feared Imperial bureaucrats in Rome, they invited soldiers to defend Poundland.