The segment begins with Conan endorsing "Celestial Seasonings Tension Tamer" tea and reads the poetic description on the back of the box. An audience member (Jon Glaser) speaks up and proudly mentions that he is the writer of said description. Another tea copyrighter (Brian McCann) who works for competitor Bigelow teas, butts in and proceeds to give his own detailed description for his product. The two men quickly get into an argument, and finally Conan decides that the only way to settle this is for them to battle in a cage match.