"No Thugs in Our House" is a song by Andy Partridge. It appeared on and was released as a single for the 1982 album English Settlement. A live in-studio version, for BBC, appeared on Drums and Wireless, later on the 1998 Transistor Blast box set. XTC performed the song on British music show, The Old Grey Whistle Test. A promo video was released with the single edit of the song superimposed onto the Test performance.