We at the Lord's Gym follow the Gospels of Ahnold, a little-known Book of The Holy Bible discovered in an ancient gym bag in a cave upon the Dead Sea. The Gospels of Ahnold tells us that God begat his only son Jesus and sent him down to earth to train to be his spotter, as God wanted to rep out one million ass-to-the-grass squat thrusts with the weight of the entire universe on his back. In his time on Earth, Jesus revolutionized the world of physical fitness, and we here at Lord's Gym consider his Word, as set forth in the Gospels of Ahnold, to be our Workout Bible.