The University of Ottawa is not a bilingual university, unless you are studying bilingualism in French. Primarily, the school specializes in yearlong outdoor ice skating on the Rideau Canal, in topics that are not taught at Carleton University, and tactics for crossing 1 of 4 bridges into the land of Quebec for alcoholism and prostitution. The current Dean of the university is Captain Crunch. His alleged affair with the Anamaniacs trio has tarnished the school's reputation beyond repair. The University of Ottawa Health Clinic also boasts the longest wait period in the world.