After discovering an un-redeemed lotto scratch card (value £1), The Society considered all of its birthdays to have come at once. We immediately entered the most luxurious building available but were quickly rebuffed by the duty manager who recognised us as the chief culprits in what the police report described as an ‘unprovoked attack’ on his six-year-old daughter (we were there first, it was our bit of the beach, the little tramp had no right to build sandcastles there).