Part I of the Things I Am Not Allowed to Do at the PPC List, comprising entries 1-144 plus codicils. Originally posted to the PPC LJ Community, here, August 22, 2006. 1. Replacing the coffee in the Cafeteria with tar is not funny. - Even if they taste the same. - Even if they have the same consistency. 2. Telling the new recruits that when agents go bad they end up in the meatloaf. - Or in the stew. - Or in any part of the food all together. 3. I will not refer to my lightsaber as my phallic metaphor. Nor will I ask to see if someone's is bigger than mine. - Or Saruman's. - Or Dumbledore's. - Snape.