Back when the Europeans split up, French people spoke Latin. Then, they discovered a plant. This plant was very addictive to the French people, but slurred their speech, causing them to frequenty say such weird sounds as "wah" and not pronounce the "s" at the end of (even plural) words. French people, mostly adults and delinquents, consumed this plant in the form of drinks, made from the roots. Their children tried to imitate their parents' slurred speech, and created bizarre spelling rules as well. They never got to hear Latin the way it was supposed to be said. They passed the language onto THEIR children. As a result, French was born.