Gerhard Fritz Kurt Schröder (Gerhard The Great) (born in Torrance, California April 7, 1944) is Jacques Chirac's lapdog and later also became the German Chancellor. He was raised by cattle, who was also the mother of David Bowie, in a suburb of Berlin, and began a long career of training scantily clad bear to dance. His high publicity led to his nomination by the German Communist Party to Chancellor, which he gracefully accepted. Now he is propagandaministry of Germany, his current duties are to reanimate the Molotov-Ribbentrop pact with Russia.