It's believed that Hammer Island was founded years ago during the Civil War, when Yo Momma was so fat, she sat on the underground railroad, sending it further thus. An unfortunate tribe of Hammer-heads was crab-walking sideways when they fell to their deaths into this massive chasm. To cover up and avoid public emnity, President Abraham Lincoln attempted to mask the huge pit as a construction site for "The utmost protection of the negro heritage." Previously, during the Slavery era, composer Marcus West had expressed outrage at Honest Abe's poor response to emergencies, declaring "Lincoln doesn't care about black people." To combat such insults, Lincoln promptly began construction of Harlem, a new borough in the State of New York, directly above the pit in which the Hammer-heads had fallen