Jane Fonda, née Hortense Bakunin Phat Nguyen, was born in Saigon in 1937 to Ho Chi Minh and Grace Kelly. When she was eight years old, her devout parents sent her to a Buddhist monastery where they hoped she would spend her life as a nun, keeping her big yap shuttie while study the ancient art of Bukkake under Father Ben Dover and Bishop Look Dee Utterway. However, at the age of seventeen she was abducted by aliens, from the planet Duran Duran, who worshipped her as Boobyrella, goddess of erotic comics. They taught her aerobics and how to strip in zero gravity. Upon her return to earth, a transformed Fonda decided to devote her life to acting as a religious sacrament.