Is your baby being picked on by baby bullies? Has it been crawling at high speeds and crushing smaller objects under its hands? Has it been watching Cars repeatedly because you are too lazy to be a suitable parent? If it has been, or you wish it has been because quite frankly, if it weren’t for the clothes you paid a small fortune to dress it in, you wouldn’t be able to tell the difference between it and every other baby you’ve ever seen in your lifetime, then it is time to consider buying your baby some heavy machinery.