While in my hand it is only subject to sweat and, ahem, other embarrassing stains that are not okay to talk about while in polite society, on the floor, however disgusting it may be, it is still edible after 30,758,400,000,000,000 seconds, or one billion years, according to the latest studies in food science. Would you care to join me on a journey one billion years into the future? Follow... mmmeeeeeeeeeeee!