In humanity's endless quest for new and more interesting ways to lie, people have come up with a wide variety of "alternate universes", which are always completely identical to our own aside from some really superficial difference like everybody being a slave to Madonna (the blonde one). Due to the generally fucked up nature of humanity, some of these alternate universes have been fucked up. For the benefit of any major or minor deity considering starting an alternate universe or two, I've assembled this list of alternate universes you should seriously never make. Ever. And if they do exist, for the love of Bono, please smash them. Thank you.