My mate Boris nicknamed me ape-shit crazy when I was a poor little tyke, but then I got bigger and it wasn't so funny anymore! One day I went into his room and smashed up all his stupid sex gear, which seriously pissed him off, but I didn't care! "Ha ha ha! Fuck him! I'm ape-shit crazy!" Of course, when the bobbies came over to see what the bloody hell was going on, only to find me gnawing at Boris's mangled genitals, they were pretty fucking determined to lock me away in one of those prisons they have on Discovery Channel. But I said "No, guys, I'm not bat-fuck insane, I'm just ape-shit crazy!" and they just sent me to one of those normal prisons! That taught them not to mess with anyone whose blood-alcohol level is probably something like 70 percent or higher, heh heh!